Sunday, December 13, 2009

warm and powerful

crying like cats and dogs
heart like twinkling stars

low frequency, but from the roots of my heart,
things I see before tears blind my eyes, 
the way my heart beats when I'm having a good dream, 
soaking wet brain after reading a sad book, 
cruelty like that of a child,
pieces of what I see and hear
I want to send these kind of things

antenna up in the sky,

The next song is by Fionn Regan.

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

salt life

I fell in love when I was fifteen
and when he broke my heart
I turned into a seashell
everytime someone picked me up and held me close to their ears,
they heard you.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

twinkle twinkle little star

How people react to things is always something that the (one's) world has never experienced before,
so it's always surprisingly serious and dramatic.
Like, when going through sadness, even if the sorrow was completely unexpected, she or he is always ready to cry.

To lose something, one must own something, and no doubtful mind that it is there.


Friday, September 25, 2009

I saw it coming

Let's go fox hunting
with your fingers between my fingers
picnic basket,
filled with flowers and smell of the grass and air and water and bubbles
on our way back.
But just one thing, we have to wear white,
no exceptions, we have to wear white.
Once we get to the end of the world,
we look at each other in the eyes and remember not to say anything
just clean eyes with no lies
If we can't hold back
our tears and hearts bursting out
we share the final kiss of the world.
But just one thing, swallow those three words
we can't ruin it, not at the end of the world.

When the moon comes up, we'll head back home,
when we get brave, drunk on moonlights, we would miss the ocean terribly,
holding hands, jumping into the water, would sound so lovely.
But no, we can't die, Please, darling, don't die.

Because tomorrow morning
we'll wake up like nothing happened
"I love you"
"I love you"
the moment the words leave our mouth
we'll come back to earth, with a loud thud,
but we can be happy

for a little while.

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

lets not get physical

I want to grow.

I'm on a little boat in the middle of the ocean.
Rowing and rowing but the water never lets me go.
So, I tried to fall in love with the ocean.
But I could never drown myself, I could never fill my lungs and hearts and brains with salt water the whale breathed out.

So, I must keep rowing. The water never lets me go.
But it cannot stop me from rowing.
I write waves of love letters, using oars as my pen.
Hoping, they would reach the very bottom of your heart,
"I love you.

p.s. Please let me go."

I want to grow.
I want gills.
I want to breathe you in and out, you circulating through my body.
I want to love whales and corals, and speak their language, only to be closer to you.
No more love letters. I am one.
"I love you.

p.s. Please don't ever let me go."

Thursday, August 20, 2009

throwing pebbles at my own window

it's getting worse.
I'm losing everything.
too many things that are missing, and are missed.
is slowly drowning me but I've learned to breathe underwater.
it gets hard sometimes, I have to constantly think about breathing to breathe.
I used to sleep with my hands across my chest, thinking that I'm Juliet, pretending to be dead, for the love of my life. and yes, indeed, I was almost fourteen.
and I starved myself for 2 whole days that summer, because I had a date with my first boyfriend. I read a lot of romance novels, and it made me become a woman. Being able to picture myself making out with a boy, isn't that what becoming a woman is all about?
oh Romeo, please find my keys, bones, shoe, (yes, just one) and old fashion romance and bake me cupcakes.

Monday, August 17, 2009

You hardly ever squeak

I'm a little drama queen.
Fire alarm went off while I was trying to bake cupcakes.
I was laughing out loud, on a stool, fanning air across the detector with Steve Martin's book. And then I made a salad for myself listening to the brunettes - These things take time.
I shouldn't be alone in the kitchen. Kitchen can make me awfully lonely.

Sunday, August 16, 2009

why you are there and I am here

things I want to say
things I shouldn't say
things you would want me to say
things you shouldn't want me to say but want me to say
things I'll never say


Monday, August 3, 2009

I want to take you down

We decided to skip 3rd and 4th period.
Gracefully drove out of the school parking lot, sharing kisses, laughs, and each others breath.
There were constructions going on, and unusual looking trees loaded on the trucks. And I asked, where do you think those trees came from?
You said, I don't know. You were that lame.
I said, Kokomo, and started singing.

Off the florida keys, there's a place called kokomo,

And you started singing along,
That's where we want to go, to get away from it all.

We were walking on bayshore, near the sun, near the water, near each other.
I took off my green cardigan, and I asked if you can see my nipples through my white t-shirt.
You said, yes.
And I said, well, good.

When I said, goodbye, but not outloud, you gave me a hug, and you made me cry. And I said I'm sorry. You said, it's okay, I saw it coming. You were that lame.
You did? I asked,
Yes, for about 2 weeks.

And I cried some more, because I do not know what it's like to wait for someone you care about to say goodbye for 2 weeks.
You said, it's okay, when you were the only one not okay.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

things are queer 2.

I picture myself throwing up water, the river, oh the ocean, every night I go to bed.
It helps me sleep well with good thoughts and I sing myself a lullaby.
I try to picture the lullaby Elephant singing it to me, with his ears constantly flopping in the air, and he would always sing with my mom's voice. And he gets stuck in the same part, because as a child, there was a word in the lyrics that I didn't know and I never figured out what the exact word is or what it meant.
And I picture birds and the baby lambs sleeping under a tree on a hill peacefully, but only the moon busy, leading gold and silver beads to the east.
Good night.

Thursday, July 23, 2009

things are queer.

Stick your tongue out,
with your eyes closed,
your tastebuds react,
your heart beats faster,
kiss the rain.
because it's the Cloud's tears in your mouth.

Once apon a time,
there was a cloud and a fox.
They were very much in love.
But the Fox was supposed to marry the tiger, the king of the forest.
The day finally came.
The Cloud tried to smile as much as he can, seeing the Fox, getting married to another man,
but he couldn't.
So he hid behind the sun and cried,
and that's why it sometimes rains while the sun is shining.


Tuesday, June 2, 2009

let me sleep, please.

I've been having trouble sleeping at night for quite a while now. Last night, I went to bed at 3, had 3 nightmares, woke up at 5, called mom crying, took a shower, watched tv, and went to class at 9:30. I don't need anyone to save me. Only I can save myself from my own despair. I miss my ex boyfriend who used to sing me Rolling Stones- She's a rainbow as a lullaby. Actually I don't fuck him

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

laughing out loud

whatcha talkin 'bout natasha?
we're da baddest bitches in da town~*


Monday, April 6, 2009

more Duane Michals

click on the images.
Genius. They sometimes make my world too much for me to take in.

Monday, March 30, 2009

Duane Michals

Duane is so silly and so brilliant

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

there is this thing that's like fucking except you don't fuck
there is this thing that's like talking except you don't talk

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Monday, February 23, 2009

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

midnight cupcakes

the first one goes to Apple Green I guess?
I wanted cupcakes at 10:30, drove down to Publix and got cupcakes. $3.99 is all I need to make this night a little sweet. Like I told Anna, moonlight makes any cupcake deleeecious. So, I was walking to my English class and I stopped by circle K is it? the one on copeland right across from Westcott? and got an apple to eat in class. Last week, when we were talking about the Olsen twins, don't ask me why because anything can happen in the Cosby show class, I got a little passionate talking about MKA. I never talk in that class and felt, maybe a little stupid, telling people that they do have great style, they do have talent and business mind which is why they are successful not because they were on some ridiculous show before they could even talk. Anyways, the apple was rotten and I had to throw it away. It's a sad and beautiful world.