Friday, October 15, 2010
your eyes were always moist and wet.
when I used to look at them I saw snow jumping into the winter beach,
I could almost hear the waves splashing.
some nights, I swam in that water, other nights, it drowned me, over and over.
Saturday, October 9, 2010
I was looking in the mirror for a long time
listening to the tv
fingertips swimming in the waves of the time
I spent remembering things
like when I was an insomniac at the age of 5
I woke my parents up every single night
one night my dad locked me in the bathroom
I told him that I would rather die
I listened to him cry outside
such a lullaby
oh that feeling of victory
and one evening
so, I chopped up some onions
of course I remembered couple of onion chopping tricks
but it wouldn't have helped
it wouldn't have helped
but at least I had an excuse
, when I was light watching
in her bedroom
she couldn't do anything knowing that the time is passing by regardless of what we are doing
things went out of control for her
for days she sat in her room with her lights off, light watching,
staring right at her enemy's eyes,
I couldn't think of anything good to convince her,
so I just stopped thinking
sometimes you just have to stop thinking to stay alive
what was worse than the light
were shadows, busy busy busy
so I stood up and handed myself a pair of scissors
sharp enough, I thought.
my fingers danced back and forth, orbits
and what was part of me was not mine anymore
so easy so graceful
loss can be
Monday, October 4, 2010
note to self
The night is short. Walk, lady!
I have hands that smell like coffee,
gravity that is not strong enough to make walking too painful,
warm things or colder things to think about on this cold night,
and somewhere to be, or somewhere not to be!