throwing pebbles at my own window

it's getting worse.

I'm losing everything.

too many things that are missing, and are missed.

is slowly drowning me but I've learned to breathe underwater.

it gets hard sometimes, I have to constantly think about breathing to breathe.

I used to sleep with my hands across my chest, thinking that I'm Juliet, pretending to be dead, for the love of my life. and yes, indeed, I was almost fourteen.

and I starved myself for 2 whole days that summer, because I had a date with my first boyfriend. I read a lot of romance novels, and it made me become a woman. Being able to picture myself making out with a boy, isn't that what becoming a woman is all about?

oh Romeo, please find my keys, bones, shoe, (yes, just one) and old fashion romance and bake me cupcakes.

You hardly ever squeak

I'm a little drama queen.
Fire alarm went off while I was trying to bake cupcakes.
I was laughing out loud, on a stool, fanning air across the detector with Steve Martin's book. And then I made a salad for myself listening to the brunettes - These things take time.
I shouldn't be alone in the kitchen. Kitchen can make me awfully lonely.

why you are there and I am here

things I want to say

things I shouldn't say

things you would want me to say

things you shouldn't want me to say but want me to say

things I'll never say

Ringo

I want to take you down

We decided to skip 3rd and 4th period.
Gracefully drove out of the school parking lot, sharing kisses, laughs, and each others breath.
There were constructions going on, and unusual looking trees loaded on the trucks. And I asked, where do you think those trees came from?
You said, I don't know. You were that lame.
I said, Kokomo, and started singing.

Off the florida keys, there's a place called kokomo,

And you started singing along,
That's where we want to go, to get away from it all.

We were walking on bayshore, near the sun, near the water, near each other.
I took off my green cardigan, and I asked if you can see my nipples through my white t-shirt.
You said, yes.
And I said, well, good.



When I said, goodbye, but not outloud, you gave me a hug, and you made me cry. And I said I'm sorry. You said, it's okay, I saw it coming. You were that lame.
You did? I asked,
Yes, for about 2 weeks.

And I cried some more, because I do not know what it's like to wait for someone you care about to say goodbye for 2 weeks.
You said, it's okay, when you were the only one not okay.