lets not get physical

I want to grow.

I'm on a little boat in the middle of the ocean.

Rowing and rowing but the water never lets me go.

So, I tried to fall in love with the ocean.

But I could never drown myself, I could never fill my lungs and hearts and brains with salt water the whale breathed out.

So, I must keep rowing. The water never lets me go.

But it cannot stop me from rowing.

I write waves of love letters, using oars as my pen.

Hoping, they would reach the very bottom of your heart,

"I love you.

p.s. Please let me go."

I want to grow.

I want gills.

I want to breathe you in and out, you circulating through my body.

I want to love whales and corals, and speak their language, only to be closer to you.

No more love letters. I am one.

"I love you.

p.s. Please don't ever let me go."

throwing pebbles at my own window

it's getting worse.

I'm losing everything.

too many things that are missing, and are missed.

is slowly drowning me but I've learned to breathe underwater.

it gets hard sometimes, I have to constantly think about breathing to breathe.

I used to sleep with my hands across my chest, thinking that I'm Juliet, pretending to be dead, for the love of my life. and yes, indeed, I was almost fourteen.

and I starved myself for 2 whole days that summer, because I had a date with my first boyfriend. I read a lot of romance novels, and it made me become a woman. Being able to picture myself making out with a boy, isn't that what becoming a woman is all about?

oh Romeo, please find my keys, bones, shoe, (yes, just one) and old fashion romance and bake me cupcakes.

You hardly ever squeak

I'm a little drama queen.
Fire alarm went off while I was trying to bake cupcakes.
I was laughing out loud, on a stool, fanning air across the detector with Steve Martin's book. And then I made a salad for myself listening to the brunettes - These things take time.
I shouldn't be alone in the kitchen. Kitchen can make me awfully lonely.

why you are there and I am here

things I want to say

things I shouldn't say

things you would want me to say

things you shouldn't want me to say but want me to say

things I'll never say

Ringo

I want to take you down

We decided to skip 3rd and 4th period.
Gracefully drove out of the school parking lot, sharing kisses, laughs, and each others breath.
There were constructions going on, and unusual looking trees loaded on the trucks. And I asked, where do you think those trees came from?
You said, I don't know. You were that lame.
I said, Kokomo, and started singing.

Off the florida keys, there's a place called kokomo,

And you started singing along,
That's where we want to go, to get away from it all.

We were walking on bayshore, near the sun, near the water, near each other.
I took off my green cardigan, and I asked if you can see my nipples through my white t-shirt.
You said, yes.
And I said, well, good.



When I said, goodbye, but not outloud, you gave me a hug, and you made me cry. And I said I'm sorry. You said, it's okay, I saw it coming. You were that lame.
You did? I asked,
Yes, for about 2 weeks.

And I cried some more, because I do not know what it's like to wait for someone you care about to say goodbye for 2 weeks.
You said, it's okay, when you were the only one not okay.

things are queer 2.

I picture myself throwing up water, the river, oh the ocean, every night I go to bed.

It helps me sleep well with good thoughts and I sing myself a lullaby.

I try to picture the lullaby Elephant singing it to me, with his ears constantly flopping in the air, and he would always sing with my mom's voice. And he gets stuck in the same part, because as a child, there was a word in the lyrics that I didn't know and I never figured out what the exact word is or what it meant.

And I picture birds and the baby lambs sleeping under a tree on a hill peacefully, but only the moon busy, leading gold and silver beads to the east.

Good night.

things are queer.

Stick your tongue out,

with your eyes closed,

tip-toed,

your tastebuds react,

your heart beats faster,

kiss the rain.

because it's the Cloud's tears in your mouth.

Once apon a time,

there was a cloud and a fox.

They were very much in love.

But the Fox was supposed to marry the tiger, the king of the forest.

The day finally came.

The Cloud tried to smile as much as he can, seeing the Fox, getting married to another man,

but he couldn't.

So he hid behind the sun and cried,

and that's why it sometimes rains while the sun is shining.

Ringo